Ask Onix
Harvard professor explores the power of rituals in new book
Michael Norton, a Harvard Business School professor, has spent years studying how shared rituals-from holiday traditions to simple daily routines-shape relationships and emotional well-being. His latest book, The Ritual Effect: From Habit to Ritual, Harness the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions, examines why these behaviors matter more than many realize.
Rituals vs. habits: What sets them apart?
Norton distinguishes rituals from habits by their emotional weight. While habits are functional-like drinking coffee while reading the news-rituals carry deeper meaning. For example, a person might insist on performing morning tasks in a specific order, becoming upset if disrupted. These small, personal acts often hold significant sentimental value.
Small gestures with big emotional impact
Contrary to expectations, Norton found that grand ceremonies like weddings or funerals aren't the most revealing rituals. Instead, it's the tiny, idiosyncratic acts that stand out. One woman, grieving her late husband, continued washing his car every weekend-a task he once cherished. Another couple shared a quirky tradition: clinking their silverware before meals, turning an ordinary moment into a shared bond.
"The tiniest action has all this meaning in it," Norton said, reflecting on how such rituals reflect personal connections.
Why humans rely on rituals
Rituals serve different emotional needs depending on the context. At a celebration, clinking glasses fosters camaraderie, while at a funeral, they provide solace. Athletes use rituals to either energize or calm themselves before competitions. Norton notes that rituals help individuals cultivate the emotions they seek in any given moment.
Rituals in relationships and workplaces
In romantic relationships, couples with shared rituals report higher satisfaction. Norton highlights how these small traditions become sacred-so much so that reusing them with a new partner can feel like a betrayal. Similarly, workplace rituals, when organically created by teams, foster a sense of belonging and purpose, unlike imposed corporate initiatives.
Family traditions and holiday dynamics
Holidays like Thanksgiving or Christmas often reveal how families define themselves through unique traditions. Norton's students, for instance, frequently criticize friends' families for doing things "wrong"-a sign of how deeply these rituals shape identity. The presence of such traditions also predicts whether families continue gathering over the years.
Rituals in an era of loneliness
Amid rising loneliness post-pandemic, Norton's research underscores how rituals-whether with friends, colleagues, or partners-can strengthen social connections. Even mundane acts, when imbued with meaning, become powerful tools for fostering belonging.
Publication details
The Ritual Effect: From Habit to Ritual, Harness the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions is published by Scribner (USA) and Penguin Life (UK).
