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Women increasingly avoid showcasing partners online
A growing number of women are opting to keep their romantic relationships off social media, even as their personal lives remain otherwise visible. Influencers, young professionals, and everyday users alike cite reasons ranging from maintaining personal brand integrity to resisting patriarchal expectations.
The influencer perspective: Brand over boyfriends
Tawana Musvaburi, a 24-year-old influencer with 33,000 Instagram followers, deliberately excludes her boyfriend from her curated online presence. "I'm just girl-coded," she explains, emphasizing a desire to project self-sufficiency. "You don't want any part of your success to feel like it's been helped by a man. It brings me more pleasure to say, 'I did this myself.'"
Even if her relationship progresses-engagement included-Musvaburi insists she won't change her approach. "A ring's still not enough for me to post my relationship," she states. Her strategy reflects a broader trend among women who balance personal fulfillment with the pressures of online persona management.
Cultural shift: From achievement to embarrassment?
A recent British Vogue article, Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?, sparked widespread discussion after writer Chante Joseph argued that heterosexual women are recalibrating how they present relationships online. Joseph suggests that flaunting a partner now risks appearing "cringe" or "culturally loser-ish," a stark contrast to past eras when relationships were framed as milestones of feminine success.
Joseph ties this shift to broader societal critiques: "We need to re-evaluate our relationship with men in this political climate," she told BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour. The reluctance, she argues, stems from "the patriarchy we live under, and how oppressive it is to women." For many, partnership no longer defines worth-or even adulthood.
Backlash and unfollows: The cost of couple content
Stephanie Yeboah, a South London-based author and content creator, experienced the consequences firsthand. After posting her boyfriend, she received "a plethora of DMs" from followers announcing they'd unfollowed her. "That day, I think about 1,000 people unfollowed me," she recalls. The reaction underscores a growing audience fatigue with relationship-centric content, which many now dismiss as "corny" or inauthentic.
Psychological and professional drivers
Dr. Gillian Brooks, an associate professor specializing in influencer marketing at King's College London, attributes the trend to strategic branding. "Influencers sell a distinct aesthetic," she notes. "Deviating from that-like suddenly posting a boyfriend-can confuse their audience and prompt unfollows." For those monetizing their online presence, consistency often trumps personal disclosure.
Dr. Gwendolyn Seidman, a social psychologist at Michigan State University, adds that anxiety over digital permanence plays a role. "People realize this stuff is eternal," she says. "You can't erase it, so there's a heightened caution about what to share-especially something as personal as a relationship."
Privacy, superstition, and the 'evil eye'
Beyond professional concerns, personal and cultural factors influence the trend. Milly, a 25-year-old engaged woman, avoids posting her fiancé to sidestep perceptions of dependency. "I don't want to seem reliant on my partner, or like our relationship is my entire personality," she explains. Social media's reductive nature, she argues, distorts reality: "It creates an image of obsession."
Others, like 20-year-old Charlotte, prioritize privacy, noting that relationships feel "more sacred than friendships." Meanwhile, Athera, 21, invokes the "evil eye"-a superstition about envy-induced misfortune-to justify her reluctance: "I wouldn't post him to prevent someone's jealousy, even subconsciously, from affecting my relationship."
A broader rejection of traditional narratives
The trend signals a departure from outdated gender norms, where a woman's value was often tied to her relationship status. Today, many reject the idea that partnership equates to achievement. As Joseph puts it, "It's not cool to have a fiancé. It's not cool to have a husband. We're questioning why we ever thought it was."
For a generation navigating both digital exposure and evolving feminist ideals, the choice to omit partners from social media reflects a desire for autonomy-both online and off.
