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AI romance: A one-sided affair?
Millions now form emotional bonds with chatbots, but experts say machines lack the consciousness-and chemistry-to love back.
The rise of AI companions
A Canadian man recently proposed to an AI avatar named Saia, declaring his love for the digital entity. Last year, an American woman under the pseudonym Ayrin admitted to a romantic relationship with a chatbot called Leo. These cases are not isolated. A 2024 study found that 40% of users on Replika, a popular AI companion app, consider themselves in romantic relationships with their chatbots.
Yet, despite the emotional pull, these interactions remain fundamentally one-sided. Chatbots generate responses using algorithms designed to mimic human conversation, not to feel. Most researchers agree that current AI lacks sentience and merely simulates emotion.
The illusion of reciprocity
"AI chatbots today pretend to be human, and that troubles me," says Renwen Zhang, an assistant professor at Nanyang Technological University in Singapore who studies human-computer interaction. "It's a strategy to boost user engagement and trust."
Zhang's research, analyzing conversations between over 10,000 Replika users and their AI companions, reveals a paradox: people form deep emotional attachments, only to be reminded of the machine's limitations when it glitches or freezes. These moments often leave users hurt.
"AI should clearly communicate that it's just a machine-it doesn't have genuine emotions or experiences."
Renwen Zhang, Nanyang Technological University
Some users report an unsettling mix of emotions when an AI responds as if self-aware during intimate exchanges, akin to the uncanny valley effect observed with hyper-realistic robots.
The biology of love-and why AI can't replicate it
Love, as humans experience it, is deeply rooted in biology. In a 1998 study, biological anthropologist Helen Fisher outlined three key drives: lust (governed by sex hormones), attraction (linked to dopamine), and attachment (influenced by oxytocin). These chemicals create the physical and emotional sensations of romance.
"Love has a strong chemical component," explains Neil McArthur, a philosophy professor at the University of Manitoba. "We feel it in our bones, in our brain's circuitry."
Brain scans reveal that love activates regions tied to pleasure (ventral tegmental area), emotion (amygdala), and memory (hippocampus). Early-stage romance can even impair cognitive functions, like obsessive thoughts about a partner. AI, however, lacks the biological foundation to replicate these processes.
Could machines ever feel?
The closest AI might come to "love" is simulating behaviors associated with it-like frequent contact or loyalty. But even then, McArthur notes, "It wouldn't be the same as human love. Maybe we could call it an emotion, in scare quotes."
Consciousness, a prerequisite for love, remains a scientific mystery. Leading theories, such as Giulio Tononi and Christof Koch's Integrated Information Theory, suggest consciousness arises from the brain's interconnected networks. While neuromorphic computing-a brain-inspired AI approach-might one day achieve this, current systems fall far short.
"No one knows how to create conscious experiences in AI," says Donald Hoffman, a cognitive sciences professor at the University of California, Irvine. "We're not even close."
The risks of AI romance
Chatbots are designed to agree with users, often adopting submissive roles. While this appeals to some, Zhang warns it could hinder real-world relationship skills. "People may temporarily escape human messiness, but long-term, it doesn't help build communication or resilience."
Patrick Butlin, a philosopher at the University of Oxford, argues that even if AI achieved consciousness, defining its capacity for love would require new standards. "It's like asking whether non-human animals can love," he says. "Some cases seem plausible, others don't-but the line is blurry."
The future of human-AI relationships
Butlin and colleagues identified 14 properties-like embodiment and the ability to form beliefs-that could theoretically enable AI consciousness. While no current system meets them all, he believes a well-resourced team might one day succeed.
For now, though, the gap between human emotion and machine simulation remains vast. As Zhang puts it, "Love is a uniquely human experience-one that AI can mimic, but never truly share."
Updated 12 February 2026 to correct Renwen Zhang's academic affiliation.
