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Living with OCD: 'The world will change if I don't complete my rituals'
Emily Newcombe, 32, from Barnsley, describes how obsessive compulsive disorder shapes her daily life, from hours-long showers to repetitive phone routines.
Childhood signs and delayed diagnosis
Newcombe traces her OCD back to childhood, recalling a Christmas Day spent meticulously arranging her duvet and dolls. When a family member disrupted the order, she became distraught for the rest of the day. At school, classmates found her behavior unusual when she spent lunchtimes aligning planners and bags in perfect symmetry.
Despite these early signs, she was only formally diagnosed with OCD two years ago. Newcombe now aims to raise awareness about the condition's debilitating impact, challenging misconceptions that reduce it to mere perfectionism or quirkiness.
The toll of masking and relationships
For years, Newcombe concealed her struggles from partners, fearing judgment. She recounts straightening drinks at bars or tables during dates, unable to sit until everything was aligned. The effort to hide her rituals-what she calls "masking"-eventually strained her relationships.
"I think it was shame really. An embarrassment. I didn't really want them to know I was suffering."
Emily Newcombe
Her mother, Catherine, recalls how Newcombe's condition affected family life. During her 20s, Emily would FaceTime her mother while on dates to confirm her bedroom door was closed, seeking constant reassurance.
Daily rituals and their physical cost
Newcombe's compulsions extend to mundane tasks. She describes walking in precise steps of three or five, locking her house repeatedly, and driving around roundabouts multiple times until it "felt right." In extreme cases, leaving the house could take up to five hours, and she developed an unnatural gait that drew suspicion from supermarket security guards.
Her mother remembers instances where Emily was followed due to her repetitive movements, glancing side to side as she paced aisles.
Showering became a two-hour ordeal, with Newcombe unable to turn off the tap or adjust her clothing without repetition. At her lowest point, she resorted to using buckets for basic hygiene, unable to complete simple tasks without ritualistic checks.
Hospitalization and ongoing challenges
In 2024, Newcombe was hospitalized for three months after her condition worsened, leaving her unable to care for herself. She now faces a new challenge: a phone ritual that can consume up to 14 hours a day. She searches for specific phrases, presses buttons in a set sequence, and restarts if interrupted-even by something as minor as a bird flying past a window.
Standing for hours to perform the ritual has caused physical strain, with her legs and ankles swelling from fluid retention. Her mother describes the past two years as "horrendous," watching her daughter trapped in time-consuming compulsions.
Treatment and hope for the future
Newcombe is undergoing cognitive behavioral therapy and hopes to raise funds for specialized treatment at a London-based anxiety disorders unit. She emphasizes that OCD is not a choice or a personality trait but a severe, often paralyzing condition.
"I just want to say we are not alone and it takes courage and compassion to battle it. So, don't make fun of it and just be mindful that these things do exist and they take a lot of hours up in people's days."
Emily Newcombe
OCD Action, a charity supporting those with the disorder, highlights the stigma surrounding mental health and the trivialization of OCD as a "quirky" habit. The organization stresses that the condition affects 1-2% of the population and can be profoundly debilitating.
Raising awareness
Newcombe's story underscores the need for greater understanding of OCD's complexities. While some with the condition fear catastrophic outcomes if they skip rituals, her experience differs: she describes a sense that the "world will change in its dimensions" if she fails to complete her tasks.
Her family continues to support her, hoping her openness will encourage others to recognize the severity of the disorder and offer empathy rather than judgment.
